The way you approach people is vital. If you do it wrong and make people defensive you will not get any help:

The Cardinal Rule of Networking

In your own way, let your contacts know that you do not expect that they have an opening or even know of an opening, that you are only looking for information.

This will set them at ease. As soon as you break this rule, even with a close friend, a barrier will go up and you will not get the creative ideas from this person the way you could have if they felt at ease.

From each person you speak with you want to gain some additional information. Perhaps a contact can tell you which company in the industry is moving or expanding. Perhaps he or she can introduce you to an important person you have been seeking to meet. Perhaps a networking contact can give you an idea about how your expertise is transferable and highly sought after in another field.

Many ideas and other contacts can spring from a good networking meeting. If you think back in your career about how you learned some of the most valuable things you know, things which aided your career substantially, another person was probably the source of the information. Perhaps it was a mentor, a friend, a vendor. You are looking now for much the same type of information and it may come from someone whom you have not yet met.

Both who you know and what you know are very important to your job search.

"It's not what you know but rather who you know." Who hasn't heard this old expression? There is a truth in it, perhaps more now than ever. But what you know is also more important in today's lean and mean organizations because your new employer will want you to hit the ground running. This is the reason employers demand a closer match of skills with job requirements now more than ever before.

But who you know is still very important because frequently an introduction is required just to get your qualifications considered. Why is this? Perhaps because there are more people in career transition now than in years past. Managers and executives in many companies are bombarded by job seekers. Secretaries redirect resumes and telephone calls to Human Resources. Often, when you do get through without a referral, the person who you finally reach says they just do not have the time. The corollary to this is that when you do get through to the right person you will not have as much competition because the people who do not know how to get through haven't gotten though - just you.

So what do you do? You have to set yourself apart from job seekers that have to make cold calls because they are not networking. The very best way to do this is to have your cover letter, and later your telephone call, start with the words "R. S. Smith suggested I contact you..."

If the person agrees to see you, the reason he or she agrees to the meeting will be because someone they know is making the introduction. They will be meeting with you as a courtesy to their friend - that is one of the tremendous powers of a being referred into a strong network. A corollary to this is that you are, in a way, representing the friend who referred you so you want to be as professional as possible.

If you can get R. S. Smith to make the initial call or send the initial letter, so much the better. But be aware that sometimes people say they will make a contact for you with perfectly good intentions but fail to follow through.

When you meet with someone, you want to quickly explain your background and want him or her to give you an idea of who else you should be meeting with. With every contact you make you are working your way closer to the person who has the right opportunity for you.

The best way to not get that information is to ask too directly. If you put the person on the spot they may freeze up. Everyone can get defensive. So be careful about not coming across as asking too directly for help. If you ask for information you will usually get it. If you ask for help you will usually not get it. Ask what they know about companies you have targeted and they may mention a name or two when you ask who you should contact there. You generally do not have to ask permission to use their name when you make a contact later for they know how the game is played.

You want help but if you ask for help too directly the person may freeze up, become defensive. The help you are looking for is information - advice. So ask for information, not help.......

"HELP" = ZERO  "INFO" = HELP Asking for help gives you nothing.  Asking for information gives you the help you need.

Who should you talk to?

Make a list of everyone you know. Your business contacts should be at the top of your list but do not ignore your old classmates, your broker, barber, pastor, neighbors, etc.

You never know where or when a networking contact may pay off.

Here is a good example: One man's wife mentioned at a bridge club that her husband had been caught in a downsizing. He had been VP of Finance at a manufacturing company. A friend of hers mentioned that her husband, who owned a company, needed a VP of Finance. A meeting was held and in several weeks the man was hired as VP of Finance at a salary above his old position.