I Can't. God Can. I think I'll let God.

On January 1, 2001 I joined the ranks of the unemployed and was not concerned because I had been through job loss twice before in my life and had no problem in finding employment. I soon realized this time was going to be different in that I was 55 years old and the economy was heading toward a recession. In addition to this, my wife and I made a decision to limit my job search to St. Louis which made any realistic hope for employment before my three month severance ran out an impossibility. My severance ended and hope for employment was not in sight. Many negative feelings and fears dominated my every thought. I did not want to dump all my negative feelings and concerns on my wife; after all she had enough worries of her own. Many days and nights passed by with me holding inside my fear, my concern, and my anxiety and I came to the realization that I could not make it through this alone. I can tell you now, that I made it through this situation and I did not do it alone. God was with me and as I look back I now realize there were four steps I went through in turning all my fears, concerns, and anxieties over to God. These steps got me through my unemployment but more than that I experienced a tremendous growth in faith that changed my life in a way I never imagined.

Step 1-recognize that your situation has become unmanageable and you cannot continue alone.

My initial reaction to Step 1 was that I could see where things were not turning out the way I wanted and I questioned whether my situation had become unmanageable? Could I continue this alone? I had always been able to handle problem situations and prided myself on handling them myself. I was having a difficult time admitting that I could not handle this situation. I came to understand that Step 1 asks you to look at the facts of the situation honestly, and then draw conclusions. As I did that, I realized that I was not in control of my situation. I began to understand that my anxieties were caused by my attempts to control my situation, not letting go, and not seeking help. The headaches, the high blood pressure, the periods of anxiety, and the arguments with others were all indicators that I was losing control. I wasn’t in control as I had thought. Step 1 is a reality check and it asks you to admit honestly how things really are in your job search. Besides forcing me to admit that I could not continue alone it made me realize that I was not in control of the situation and that it had become unmanageable. This realization provided a base from which to begin to ask for help.

Step 2- recognize that GOD is there ready to help.

I was ready to admit that I needed help. I wondered if God would be there if I asked. Step 2 asked me to believe that God is willing to help me through my difficult situation. It asked me to be willing to give up being the Vice President in Charge of Everything. It asked me to let go of my desire to have what I want, when and how I want it. It told me to let God be God.

Step 3- Make the decision to turn it all over to God.

Once I acknowledged that GOD is there willing to help, I no longer believed that I needed to be in full control. I knew that I needed to turn over the direction of my life to God. This understanding encouraged me to turn my life over to the care of God rather than trying to take care of everything and everybody myself. Step 3 does not mean giving up responsibility for my life, but neither does it mean that I face the realities of life alone.

Step 4- Improve my contact with God

OK, I went through the first three steps and I realize that I need help and I know who to get it from. What do I do next? I felt that I had to improve my contact with God in order to receive the help I needed (this is just the way I felt at the time). So, my prayer life took a change in direction as did my reading and understanding the Bible. I increased the amount of time I spent in daily prayer, began reading the Bible daily, and attended daily Mass. I began reading the Bible to gain knowledge of the mind but soon realized that it centered on the heart, not the mind. Reading scripture, attending daily Mass, and trying to live what I felt in my heart affected the way I saw myself, others, and the world around me. This is what growth in faith is about and as you experience it, there will be an awakening in yourself. A result of this change in spirit and growth in faith is to share it with others and realize that what has been received as a gift must be given away as a gift. The best way to carry this message is to practice your new found spirituality and faith in all of your daily affairs. It means recognizing that God, not you, is in charge. It means turning your anxiety and concerns in life over to God’s care everyday. It means taking time out every day to make contact with God and reading His Word so that you may know God’s Will and have the power to do it. From that point on my job search changed as I did include God in my job search and my anxiety and worry went away. One last point; do not be discouraged! No one among us is able to maintain anything close to perfect adherence to the things I have talked about. The point is that you are willing to improve your contact with God, seek the help you need, and experience God’s presence in your life. God is waiting for an invitation to be part of your job search team.

Summary: “I CAN’T. GOD CAN. I THINK I’LL LET GOD.”